Pretending to Listen?

Many of us don't listen to every person who speaks to us. Most of the time we just pretend to when nothing they say actually registers in our minds. But as Robert Welch says "You can't fake listening, it shows."

So here are a few signs of a person PRETENDING to listen:

1. Giving no feedback, remaining relatively motionless and expressionless. This is called being a static listener.

2. Gives response but the response does not vary no matter what you say. For example, they might just say "Mmhmm....mmhmmm....mmhmm" the whole time the conversation is going on no matter what you're saying. This is called being a monotonous feedback giver.

3. Reacts to everything with extreme responses. For example, they would respond to every little thing you say with loud exclamations of "Oh my god! No way!" and so on. This is called being an overly expressive listener.

4. They look all around the room and at other things or other people but refuse to meet your eyes. This is called being an eye avoider.

5. Divides their attention between you (the speaker) and other things such as their cellphones or the television. This is called being a preoccupied listener.

6. Show very obviously that they don't really care about what you're saying and are just waiting for you to pause so that they can speak and express their views while completely disregarding yours. This is called being a waiting listener.

7. Listen a little and then finish your thought. For example, you say "I feel..." and the other person butts in and says "angry?" These types of listeners think they know you better than you know yourself which can be very irritating. They are called the thought completing listeners.

Now that you are aware of the signs, you will be able to tell if someone isn't listening so that you can either tell them off or just stop wasting your efforts! As a listener, you can now be more careful and make more effort to listen properly!

Tan Huey Li