Monday, October 26, 2009

Romantic Rules

Leslie Baxter has identified 8 major romantic rules. Many believe these are necessary for a successful relationship.

The 8 rules are:

1. Acknowledge each other's individual identities and lives beyond the relationship.

- It is important to have hobbies, activities and friends outside of your relationship. This is so that you have space and won't get too sick of each other!

2. Express similar attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests.

- Although the saying "opposites attract" is very popular, it usually isn't true. People are more often drawn to those they have things in common with. If you are to spend the rest of your life together, you're going to have to be able to do stuff together and agree on the most fundamental views on life!

3. Enhance each other's self-worth and self-esteem.

- You should always be able to turn to your partner for pats on the back! Always congratulate your partner and celebrate all little achievements! As for failures, always make sure you are there to comfort them when they're down.

4. Be open, genuine, and authentic with each other.

- Open up to your partner. Share as many details of your life as you could. Say nice things to them but only if you mean it! Always thank them and show appreciation for all the little things they do for you.

5. Remain loyal and faithful to each other.

- There is no such thing as an open relationship. An open relationship is not a proper relationship! Never cheat on your partner because even if they decide to forgive you, they will never be able to trust you fully again.

6. Have substantial shared time together

- To bond as a couple, you will have to spend time together. Do things you both enjoy so that you can look back on the course of your relationship and bring back fond memories.

7. Reap rewards commensurate with their investments relative to the other party.

- For a relationship to work, both parties have to put in equal effort. Both have to feel like they are working together and are on the same page. They also have to get back as much out of the relationship as they're putting in to avoid dissatisfaction.

8. Experience a mysterious and inexplicable "magic" in each other's presence.

- Basically, you have to have the right chemistry with your partner. If you don't, no matter how much effort you put into it, the relationship still wouldn't work out!

Although we'd all like to think that it's just about meeting the prince, falling in love and living happily ever after, the happily ever after part actually takes a lot of work. So we do have to follow rules. After all, nothing comes easy!

Tan Huey Li

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